I'm a dancer

Who knew? I certainly didn't.

When I drink, I dance.

Last time I drank to get drunk(about 6-7 yrs ago) I would got in fights . . . that's when I was a young dumb college student . . . now, I'm an older dumb college student. Things are obviously different.

Wow, when I typed that out just now I typed "stupid" instead of "different". Freudian slip perhaps? But why?

Anyway, so I spent a week in Myrtle Beach, SC for work and I just got back to my office. Luckily I actually like, dare I say love, my job so the transition isn't so bad.

"What happens in Myrtle Beach, stays in Myrtle Beach!" said the DJ just before I made a fool of my shit-faced (not quite) self on the dance floor. My colleagues and I were there till they shut off the lights and started cleaning up for the next morning's meeting. Well, one could only hope that what happens there, or anywhere, for that matter would stay right where it happens . . . Alas, it is not . . . as the days progress I am having flashbacks of my stupidity.

When the FUCK did I agree to allowing myself to dance like James Brown, scratch that, when did my brain say . . . "SURE! I can do that!"???

As it turns out, when I am under the influence of various distilled concoctions and several brewed beverages, I lose all power of logical deduction and restraint. Safeguards that were subconsciously put in place to prevent humiliation by years of previous . . . well, humiliation, try to stop me from . . . humiliating myself are no ma a few Jack and Cokes! Mmmm Jack and Coke! Yummy

Not only did I do James Brown for a period longer than that which is eligible for being filed in that glorious "no one saw that" file, I went ahead and requested another James Brown song in order to do it TWICE!!!

You truly discover yourself when drunk. I reported, correctly, to my esteemed friends and colleagues sitting at the table with me that I in fact do not know how to dance nor do I attempt to embarrass myself until after 4 or 5 drinks.

Well after those 4or 5 drinks and after another 4 or 5 drinks and subsequent half dozen cups of straight vodka with a light cranberry flavoring disguised as "vodka and cranberry" that the girls I was with were drinking puts you into hyper dancer mode.




Don't get me wrong, I'm not some sort of callous sloppy drunk . . . I -DID- have some water!!
Although, it turned out not to be water but straight vodka instead. Does melted ice from the bottom of my Jack and Cokes count?





Anyway,

At some point of the night our table collapsed which unfortunately was what I did shortly after miraculously making it back to my hotel room. I guess I was a bit rusty when it came to "all nighters".

I say when it came as in past tense because the next night was much more successful as my new friends and I closed the club down.
By the way, they sure close clubs early in South Carolina. Just as well since I needed to be up early the next morning, nay, in a few hours.

Ok so anyway, the whole point of this meaningless ramble was to point out the things I learned about myself which are that I like to party! I like to drink when I party! and I like people after all! I was honestly questioning that for a while there . . .

I met some incredibly nice people that I actually miss! Some I joked with, most I danced with but all of them I will always remember. I consider them friends. For that, a person who thought he was somewhat of a loner in life is grateful for the realization.

You know who you guys are. Not like any of you are reading this right now but this all sounded very Dawson's Creek Finale-ish so I thought I'd put it in.

Happy Thanksgiving to all in case you don't hear from me sooner than the holiday.

-ME

The booth is open . . .

Now taking bets on exact day and or week when the war with Iran will begin.
Please feel free to leave your dates in comments below.

This has been a long time coming. It is finally evolving (or are we simply losing control of the situation*see below)into what will be a major and horrible entrapment of our resources. Iran is far too large a territory for a ground assault. It is possible we will turn to an air strike, one which may bring out -the big guns

"How do you like your radioactive lamb Little Mohamed??"

*Is this a natural evolution of preconceived plans to be at war with Iran or is Ahmadinejad jumping the gun here? I am of the school (i founded the school by the way) that war with Iran is inevitable. I have been saying it for a year or so now maybe longer. However, are the plans for world war 3 being subverted and replaced with plans that include an earlier confrontation? Who knows, it's possibly just a preparation of the American public to garner support for the inevitable. SEE: Operation Northwoods (Google it)

Comments to CNN today in response to Iran news

Ahmadinejad is taunting the U.S. with a "come and get me" type attitude regarding plans of domination in the middle east that he has had planned since day one. If we as Americans have not put our money on going to war with Iran then we are dilluted. Ahmadinejad wants major control in the middle east and wants to try and topple the west in an all out battle royale on foreign land. Knowing full well what a grand scale strain a war with Iran would be for us. He wants to run the middle east but also "take us down" in the process. The American people must brace for many dark and trying days ahead. It is frighteningly possible that we are about to witness a major shift in power as our dollar crashes, our economy slows to a pending recession and our enemies continue to revel in their success of making us turn against our own government with lawsuits, investigations, ridicule and lack of support of our leader(s). Partly, our enemies have already succeeded in defeating us by achieving the aformentioned realities of disdain and distrust of our government and its officials.
...(Not in its entirety)

NO DOGS ALLOWED!! K-9 or otherwise

So we are headed to a birthday party for one of our friends' gorgeous little girls and on the side of the turnpike is a brand new school for KIDS that was just built (hence me saying it's brand new mind you.)

My wife, in her amazement of such a large beautiful new facility yelled out "Look, a new dog training center!"

The sign on the front of the building touted the name of the new K-8 Center . . ."Dillard House K-8 center" or whatever . . .

FOR KIDS.

I had to take the next few minutes to thoroughly enjoy basking in my wife's embarrassment at her quick realization that the "K-8 Center" is not, contrary to her wishful thinking, a training center for dogs going into police service where they can, with hard work and dedication of course, one day becaome K-9's.

Did I mention she's a redneck? Look MA! I picked me my very own future Darwin Award Recipient!

Aww shucks!

Captain Coward . . .

Congratulations to the Iraqi's for winning a cup!

I find it interesting that the "Captain" of the team is too scared to go back to Iraq. Is he then willing to let his team mates go back alone? Is he not afraid for his team mates' safety?

I don't know the facts personally so I can only speculate. Which I also do for his motive. Something smells fishy here. Is someone making him say these things? Has "the Iraq" traded Qusay or whatever his name was for some other tyrant with a thing for futbol? Again, just speculation but the whole thing sounds rehearsed.

I can't imagine someone from a team and country like Iraq that just led his team to a huge victory, due in part to an army and country like the U.S. and it's disposal of the tyrannous regime that oppressed their people even as soccer players, wants to demand them (the U.S.) to leave after they just allowed him to at the very least, play without the fear of death as punishment for not winning games. Could this new found freedom he is exercising in order to say the things he could only dream of just a few short months prior have anything to do with the U.S. and coalition forces liberating Iraq??

Why won't he go back? Why would he be afraid of getting hurt? Is it because of an accidental trampling from the thousands of ecstatic fans cheering through the streets? Cheering about something they can barely believe has happened?

While I'm on the subject of them winning . . . am I really the only person who thought the games were rigged in order to let the Iraqis win? You know, to give the Bush administration a chance to say "Look, see what we've done? Stop complaining . . . paying over three dollars for gas and losing your son/brother/daughter/mom/dad (etc.etc.) really IS worth it!"

That's what I had in the back of my mind until I read Captain Coward's (or is it Captain Coerced's?) story.

Who knows . . . the whole thing smells fishy . . . or would that be lambish?? Sorry for the bad pun, I tried finding something relevant and so I searched for a typical Iraqi dish and didn't want to be insulting and say curry or something . I'm sure I'm still being insulting by saying lamb. But hey, take it or leave it. Bad puns and all.

No matter what is going on in reality . . . congratulations to the Iraqi people.

"I'm melting . . . I'm melting . . . what a world . . ."

Hi guys. Hope everyone's having a good Friday morning!
Let's see, what's on the agenda for today? Well, I keep hearing about this water bottle industry attack stuff. Why are cities all of a sudden going after bottled water? Is this some sort of conspiracy by cities across the country? What is more dangerous though; using up our drinking water:



or filling our landfills with plastic bottles when they could just as well be recycled:



We will just have to wait and see I guess.

Sorry guys, I wasn't really feeling that "news" story so the commentary wasn't very good. I am however interested in knowing what the big deal is about having a few drinks before piloting a spaceship.

What's gonna happen? Is NASA really afraid of a PUI ("Piloting while Under the Influence")? or would that be and STWUI ("Space Travel While Under the Influence")? Mind you, this guy (or gal) is sitting in a pecker shaped stick of dynamite with 80 kajillion gallons of "cant get us to Mars juice"/rocket fuel and he is the one that gets to press the "hope this doesn't blow up" button. A few drinks should be required before possibly blowing yourself and your crew up . . . err I mean going into space.

Seriously though, what is NASA thinking will happen? Will the "drunk" pilot all of a sudden start swerving through space and run into a space tree and have his bodyguards try to cover it up and say that the Jack and Coke wasn't his?

New to Me

Found this great artist on youtube. She apparently wrote the song herself and has a beautiful voice. My first thought was to do the typical "I hate that you are doing something about your dream and I'm too lazy to do anything about mine" attitude that 99% of youtubers have and was gonna say "Thanks but we already have a Kelly Clarkson". I thought that was funny and still do. She kinda looks like her. I didn't because I heard the song and the singing.

It "moved" me to the point that I messaged this girl and gave her some constructive criticism (what kind of a backseat driver would I be if I didn't right?) and told her I would buy her CD.
I would.

Anyway, in a shameless attempt at riding her wave to stardom in at least a small seemingly insignificant way, I will now post her video and you all will watch. Watch I say! lol

Seriously, its good.

. . . A la Peréz

CNN Pool Story

So every day I check out CNN.com to catch up on news around the country cause I don't like FAUX NEWS telling me what to think. I see this story today . . . another slow news day apparently.

CLICK HERE FOR POOL STORY

Someone stole a lady's above ground pool. She of course is shocked that someone took the pool. She says there is not a drop of water as evidence left behind. The story had some odd info that stood out to me like, why was the husband up till 1am? Everyone know's all the porno youtube videos don't come on till at least 2am!! DUH!



Also, get this . . . a quote directly from Lt. Anthony Traina of the Paterson Police Department

"This wasn't just walking by and snatching a bike. That tells us something, too."



YA THINK?! It tells you, there's someone out there with a big pool sticking out the back of their truck!

Hey check it out, I found the pool bandits! All it took was a quick Google search!

Test Post

Just testing some HTML code guys.

Wifey brought doughnuts and coffee from Krispy Kreme so I'm all fired up now . . .and fatter.